It was a tough job. Given that I knew nothing about the new weapon they
were thinking of planting, I just felt that I have to do it- it is my
job. But yeah, it was tough. It was tough not because I felt emotional
about what I had to do- well, at least initially, I did not even know
that my job would cause such an impact. It was tough because I was
worried that I might prove to be useless. That I might fail the mission.
The humiliation I'd have to face then- it was unthinkable. Well, it is
unthinkable even today! It is unthinkable because I did not have to face
it. But yes, I was terrified initially.
But as the months went by, I got sucked into the system and I began to understand the project and my role in it- each day, my responsibility became clearer and clearer. And before I knew it, I was instructing my fellow engineers and helping with the planning. Boy, did I feel important or what? It felt great. Yes, I have been given serious roles before. And I knew I was capable of handling it. But still, this was something entirely new. It was terrifying. And that terror gave me some sort of pleasure. Like a climax- the thrill, the excitement- all of it was there. I felt important and I felt alive. If I succeed, I would become a national hero. My name will go down in history.
Sure. There will be people who hate me as well. But which great hero doesn't? Every hero was also an anti-hero. It is inevitable. And what is the point of being a hero if I did not earn some hatred?
--------------------------------------
As days went by, the mission became my life. I had my wife and children with me. But I couldn't tell them about the project. They were not as brave as I was. They would think that it is too risky. They would try to dissuade me from doing this. Well, women and children do have a heart made of butter. They cannot handle heat. I had to lie to my wife every single day. But when she realizes why I had done so, she would be happy for me. She would be proud of me. I would be a legend, a hero. And she was my wife.
------------------------------
On the day of the mission, I felt a strange kind of thrill. It was exciting. It was terrorizing as well. I had to do this. And I had to do this right. It is my make or break day. If I succeed, I was a legend. If I failed, I was a disgrace. If the mission succeeded, my people will praise me and bless me with every breath they took. If I failed, they would curse me and pelt stones at me- every day till I died. Today was my day. If I had to make it, I had to make it today. Else, my chance was gone- forever. I took my mother's name and asked her for her blessings. This was what she always wanted. And she was there with me. I knew it. I could sense her presence.
Me and my mates got dressed. There was an eerie silence in the room. Everyone knew how important this was for us. All our sleepless nights was spent for this day. This single day was the only thing that could define and give meanings to all that time we spent. Yes. Worked.
After we got dresses, I briefed my mates about the plan one last time. They had to do it right. No one could afford to miss a minute- miss a point. We went over the plan once and then looked at each others eyes. Yes. Confidence. Trust. Faith. It was all there. We boarded the aircraft.
------------------------------
After traveling for about 3 hours or so, we reached. And as planned, the first aircraft went in to the target zone. It was to observe the conditions there. And as planned, we received the morse code signalling that all was fine. That was our green signal. This was it. This was my moment.
------------------------------
It was about 08.09 in the morning. Yes. Everything was perfect. I went in. I started the bomb run and then handed over the control. All as planned. The release happened at 08.15. After confirming the release, we flew over about 11 miles. Then. Just a few seconds after it's release, we felt the shock waves. The turbulence. The heat.
------------------------------
All had gone as planned. The "Little Boy" did it's job. Perfectly. All that was left of the city of Hiroshima- one of the most strongest cities of our worst enemy-was rubble and smoke.
Today, on the 6th of August 1945, I had become a hero, a legend. I did it.
(This is a fictionalized account of Colonel Paul Tibbets, who later in an interview in 1975, when asked about the Hiroshima Bombings, stated in the media that, "I'm proud that I was able to start with nothing, plan it, and have it work as perfectly as it did .... I sleep clearly every night" In March 2005, he stated, "If you give me the same circumstances, I'd do it again." He died in 2007 at 96 after suffering from heart failure)
But as the months went by, I got sucked into the system and I began to understand the project and my role in it- each day, my responsibility became clearer and clearer. And before I knew it, I was instructing my fellow engineers and helping with the planning. Boy, did I feel important or what? It felt great. Yes, I have been given serious roles before. And I knew I was capable of handling it. But still, this was something entirely new. It was terrifying. And that terror gave me some sort of pleasure. Like a climax- the thrill, the excitement- all of it was there. I felt important and I felt alive. If I succeed, I would become a national hero. My name will go down in history.
Sure. There will be people who hate me as well. But which great hero doesn't? Every hero was also an anti-hero. It is inevitable. And what is the point of being a hero if I did not earn some hatred?
--------------------------------------
As days went by, the mission became my life. I had my wife and children with me. But I couldn't tell them about the project. They were not as brave as I was. They would think that it is too risky. They would try to dissuade me from doing this. Well, women and children do have a heart made of butter. They cannot handle heat. I had to lie to my wife every single day. But when she realizes why I had done so, she would be happy for me. She would be proud of me. I would be a legend, a hero. And she was my wife.
------------------------------
On the day of the mission, I felt a strange kind of thrill. It was exciting. It was terrorizing as well. I had to do this. And I had to do this right. It is my make or break day. If I succeed, I was a legend. If I failed, I was a disgrace. If the mission succeeded, my people will praise me and bless me with every breath they took. If I failed, they would curse me and pelt stones at me- every day till I died. Today was my day. If I had to make it, I had to make it today. Else, my chance was gone- forever. I took my mother's name and asked her for her blessings. This was what she always wanted. And she was there with me. I knew it. I could sense her presence.
Me and my mates got dressed. There was an eerie silence in the room. Everyone knew how important this was for us. All our sleepless nights was spent for this day. This single day was the only thing that could define and give meanings to all that time we spent. Yes. Worked.
After we got dresses, I briefed my mates about the plan one last time. They had to do it right. No one could afford to miss a minute- miss a point. We went over the plan once and then looked at each others eyes. Yes. Confidence. Trust. Faith. It was all there. We boarded the aircraft.
------------------------------
After traveling for about 3 hours or so, we reached. And as planned, the first aircraft went in to the target zone. It was to observe the conditions there. And as planned, we received the morse code signalling that all was fine. That was our green signal. This was it. This was my moment.
------------------------------
It was about 08.09 in the morning. Yes. Everything was perfect. I went in. I started the bomb run and then handed over the control. All as planned. The release happened at 08.15. After confirming the release, we flew over about 11 miles. Then. Just a few seconds after it's release, we felt the shock waves. The turbulence. The heat.
------------------------------
All had gone as planned. The "Little Boy" did it's job. Perfectly. All that was left of the city of Hiroshima- one of the most strongest cities of our worst enemy-was rubble and smoke.
Today, on the 6th of August 1945, I had become a hero, a legend. I did it.
(This is a fictionalized account of Colonel Paul Tibbets, who later in an interview in 1975, when asked about the Hiroshima Bombings, stated in the media that, "I'm proud that I was able to start with nothing, plan it, and have it work as perfectly as it did .... I sleep clearly every night" In March 2005, he stated, "If you give me the same circumstances, I'd do it again." He died in 2007 at 96 after suffering from heart failure)
1 comment:
POEM: SUICIDE:
The concept is hazy. Ok, poetry is opp. Of suicide, as it
creates sth. But poetry destroys : “self-sacrifice”, feelings, experiences,
mental state, interplay of intellect are burned into the words & form
delivering a cryptic meaning. Feelings, experiences, etc , are part of life which
are sacrificed at the altar of “art” so that we don’t shirk away but appreciate
it. That’s poetry.
Your poems remind me of Kamladas’s : Confessional, a bit
weird, transluscent, bringing out the ironies of life, paradoxical.
Liked Honeymoon: The comparison of the husband to a vacation
is gleefully apt. Expecting this & that from the husband like one expects
this & that from the vacation. Both prepared & unprepared for the
event.
Poem : A Journey:
There is a verse:
“Unfamiliarity jars
Through the familiarity.
Memories that were forgotten
Histories that were unseen”
I felt an
aberration in the first two lines. It should’ve been:
“Familiarity jars
Through the unfamiliarity.”
‘coz in a journey it is the unfamiliarity which comes across
to us but many things happen to be familiar to us – we get the feel of
familiarity. You have added the next line to support this statement : “Memories
that were forgotten…..”
Well, that’s my say.
After reading your poems I wrote one:
I dipped my words
in the wine of my life
and extracted and preserved
which my life couldn't have done.
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